Eternity
by sunshine2k12
Summary: It is as if Allegiant really happened without altering any of the details, but completely erases the epilogue. It all starts when Tobias tries to free himself from the pain of Tris' death, and leads to so much more than he could have ever imagined. I am horrible at summaries, but I promise it will be better than it seems. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1: Freedom

**A/N: Please do not jump to conclusions after the first chapter, it will continue further than this, you just have to be patient. I am completely open to feedback, and actually encourage it! I wrote this while listening to Christina Perri's "Human" because I can't think of a better song to fit it, and it adds so much to it if you do so while reading it. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights to characters go to Veronica Roth.**

_"But I'm only human_  
_And I bleed when I fall down_  
_I'm only human_  
_And I crash and I break down_  
_Your words in my head, knives in my heart_  
_You build me up and then I fall apart_  
_'Cause I'm only human"_

_x- Christina Perri_

* * *

I hold my breath as tightly as I can manage, fearing that the release will give my body the slightest push it requires to send me off the ledge of the building I'm on, into the darkness below. The night is calm, but bitter cold as spring is still attempting to overcome the grip that winter has held for an extra month over "Chicago". A small laugh forces me to breathe as I am cannot contain it at the thought of this place being a part of an entire world we never could have imagined. To think it has only been a few months since me and Tris…

My throat constricts at the near thought of her name, even though I'm faced with the same sensation countless times every day. A shiver covers my entire body when I try to focus on the memories we had before hell consumed our lives. The first time I came in contact with her storm-grey eyes when I lifted her from the Dauntless net, and the first time her lips touched mine at the bottom of the chasm. I can't do it, I can't even enjoy the memories of her because of the pain that whales in my chest, forcing me to slam my eyes shut. I literally cannot function straight with her gone. No fear of my father could have ever prepared me for the torture I'm facing these days. I would accept his belt every single day for the rest of my life if it meant she could live again, without an ounce of hesitation.

I turn my attention to the bottle I've been carelessly swaying in my right hand and bring it to my lips. The burning sensation that courses through my veins is the only familiarity I can tolerate now. I remember how it was such an ally in my Dauntless life before she came into it, how it gave me the relief at the end of the day to not run until my legs gave out, and make a new life wherever I ended up. How it drug me through trying to cope with finding out my mother was alive with the factionless, but it doesn't have the power to comfort me now. I laugh. I'm not even sure why I drink anymore, because it doesn't even help. Sure, it allows me to finally pass out at night, but it only brings the nightmares with it. I feel the anger as it rises in my stomach, as the same questions I relive every day repeat themselves in my mind.

_How could she do this to me?_

_How could she tell Caleb that she didn't want to leave, but then do so without even giving me a chance to say goodbye?_

_How could she just drop everything we had, to walk into oblivion for someone who betrayed her?_

I take every ounce of strength I have in my right arm, and launch the glass as far as I possibly can, causing me to stumble against the ledge a bit. I keep all of my concentration on the bottle as it shatters against the structure closest to the one I'm standing on now, and try to suppress the heavy breathing that is starting to consume me. I loved her with everything I was, with everything I could possibly give. I succumb to the guilt now. If I had not pushed her away the entire time we were at the Bureau, maybe she would have stayed for me. If I had not made such a big deal about being genetically damaged, and concentrated on moving passed it all with her, maybe she would have let Caleb go. The corners of my mouth turn up slightly at the thought of her being selfish. It wasn't a part of her, I should have known that. I did know that, but I had fooled myself into believing that she could let her brother die if it meant staying with me for the rest of our days. I don't even noticed how tightly I had shut my eyes until I attempt to force them open. The stinging sensation that is threatening them is too much for me to tolerate anymore, I've fought it off for so long now that it has become exhausting. My muscles ache endlessly from the punishment I put them through on a daily basis. I thought if I could become physically stronger, then my mental health would follow in suit, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I look straight up into the night sky, admiring how beautiful the stars are up here.

I am still utterly terrified of the height of the building on which I'm standing, but I try to look passed it to imagine the bravery my girl always had. Being so close to the stars reminds me of the night I followed her up the Farris Wheel, fighting every single cell in my body just to try to protect her. My breathing heaves again, and I'm done resisting. I let the memory of her face come into my mind, the way she looked at me the night we become whole, the day before I left her to make her decision on her own. I can almost hear her saying my name, and it is far too much.

I take a single step back, letting the heels of my boots tease the ledge I've been standing on for the past hour. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and hold my arms straight out from my sides. I utilize the muscles in my legs to push off from the fragile foundation as hard as I can, and press my lips together to contain my terrified screams. The air howls in my ears as I surge toward the ground, lifting my black leather jacket securely around my sides, forcing my heart to pound faster than my lungs can keep up with.

I open my eyes to witness the sky fading as the dark abyss swallows me, and I am **free**.


	2. Chapter 2:Elation

**A/N: I would first off like to say thanks to the readers who favorite/followed this, it brings me so much joy! I cannot not express how much I appreciate the reviews as well, you guys made my entire day! I would also like to say that this will (sadly) not be an extremely long story, as I know the direction I want it to go, but not exactly sure as to how long it will take me to put it all into words. I will do my best to update once a day, if not more often. **

**Thank you all for your patience, and I am honored that you've liked it so far.(: **

**Oh, and I may add a song suggestion at the beginning of each chapter, because I cannot even attempt to write without music. For this one I chose Apologize, performed by Charlotte Sometimes (even though it was originally done by One Republic)!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or its characters, they all belong to Veronica Roth.**

_"I'd take another chance,  
Take a fall, take a shot for you, oh, oh.  
I need you like a heart needs a beat,  
But it's nothin' new, yeah!  
I loved you with a fire red,  
Now it's turnin' blue.."_

_x- One Republic_

* * *

The "ground" gives way beneath me and cradles my body. The impact knocks the wind out of me and I wheeze, struggling to breathe again. My arms and legs are rigid as I lie motionless, I am in utter disbelief on what I just accomplished. I scan the familiar setting, but my eyes are not easily adjusting to the darkness I'm surrounded by. I shouldn't have expected there to be any lights on, after all no one has really been in this part of the Dauntless compound since the war ended. The corners of my mouth turn upward despite my protest at my most treasured memory of this place. I remember watching her grey figured fall through the air and hit the same net that I am lying on now, the first time I set eyes on Tris since I had left Abnegation. I swallow hard, knowing that the tears are already on their way to engulf my vision once again. I don't, or can't fight them off this time. I choke on the sobs that are consuming me like a child, and I cover my face with my hands.

How weak I've become without my girl.

I never got the chance to express to Tris' just exactly how deep my love ran for her. I could have spent the rest of eternity with her, even if we done nothing but occupied each others company every day. A small laugh emerges through the sobs, and I lose myself in the emotions gushing from my once stone cold demeanor.

I lost track of time well into my break down, but I have managed to at least partially steady my breathing. I stare up at the stars that are still visible from hole in the ceiling. I had honestly not even considered what would have happened to me if I had missed my target after leaping backward from the structure above, until now. The thought of the possible outcome forces my mind to the reason I came here to begin with. I fight to move my stiffened arms and push my right hand into my jean pocket, my fingers grasping the container that occupies it. I bring it into view and try to push any objections to the back of my mind.

_This is what I want, this is my decision now. She made hers, this is mine. _

I opened the small black case, closing my eyes just one last time before taking the syringe in my right hand.

_She would have hated you for this, it is a cowardice thing to do._

_Why not be a coward? Isn't that what many of my fellow Dauntless members referred to me by when they heard my darkest secrets? _

_If it were you, you would want her to move on. You'd die all over again if you had to witness this._

_She's gone, she can't see this. She can't feel the pain of my decisions anymore. _

I stop the internal battle with myself to look at the purple liquid filling the glass. It was fate that I stumbled upon it in the rubble that was once Erudite headquarters. I was helping volunteers with the renovations in the basement, when my boot hit the container. I knew instantly what it was since Jeanine Matthews felt the need to flaunt it in front of me when I was being tortured in her lab, as it was the tool she was going to use to end Tris' life, then my own. Bile rises in my mouth as the memory forces its way to the front of my mind. I had concealed this for weeks, waiting to make sure what I was going to do with it. I fought so many wars with myself about what would be considered the "right" decision, just to be met with the one I'm making now. I have no desire to live the remainder of my life on "auto-pilot", going through the hours mindlessly just to be breathing. Our friends may mourn me, just as they did her, but they'll move on just the same. I feel as if my body is a hollow shell of anything it once was. I want to live again, but I know it is impossible since the only thing that could ever make that happen is gone.

I don't let another thought come into process, in fear I will come to my senses. I bring the syringe to my neck and plunge the needle deep into my veins. I have the insane sensation that my blood is being quickly replaced with molasses, and my bones being filled with lead. I cannot resist my head becoming too heavy to hold up any longer, and let it fall to my right side. That is when I see her.

She is laying on her side facing me, her blonde hair still long pulled back in her signature ponytail. Her fragile frame seems healthier than ever. Her lips have a beautiful pink tint, and her cheeks flush when her storm grey eyes meet mine. My mouth goes dry as I try to speak her name, but she just smiles which takes my breath away before I can get out a single syllable. I lift my left arm, and turn onto my side to face her, almost not realizing that the feeling deep within my bones has shifted. It's as if I'm weightless, the feeling of gravity releasing me from its clutches. I cup her fragile face in my hands, and am beyond relieved that she is tangible. I have had countless dreams of this occurring in a million different situations, but I could never **feel** her. My fingers became all too used to grasping nothing but vapor. The heat from her skin radiates against my own, and the feeling of her cheeks stretching into a smile against my palms overwhelm my senses. I cannot conjure words, or thoughts. I am in a state of complete euphoria.

I wait for the death serum to take effect, to be swallowed by oblivion and to lose this moment forever, but it doesn't come. I am only inches away from the love of my life, and I cannot move in fear that she will disappear. She brings her hand to cover mine and lets a small giggle shake her.

I am terrified when she opens her mouth to speak, but she simply states: _I've missed you, Tobias.  
_

I cannot believe the angelic sound that feels my ears. Every ounce of logic I have left in me is shouting that this could never be real, but I can't accept that. I have no idea how, or why she is here, but I do not reject her. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her so close to me that there is not a single space left between us. I bury my face in her neck as my eyes begin to violently water, and I say the only thing that I can manage to squeeze from my throat.

"_I've missed you more, Tris."_


	3. Chapter 3: Homecoming

**A/N: Again thank you for all of your responses. From reviews, favorites/follows, and readers - I'm so honored! I apologize for ending the chapters the way I do, but I have to keep it interesting somehow. [lol] I promise a lot of questions you are probably asking yourselves will be answered tomorrow!  
**

-**datcray-crayfangirl That is a good idea, I didn't even think of that one ! [lol] I really wish I could clarify it for you now, but it would ruin it. Hopefully by the next chapter I can clear everything up. I hope you stick around for the rest of it! Thank you for your review.(:**

**-** **Divergentgirl18 Thank you so much, I am trying my hardest &nd it means a lot to me!**

**I tried to reply to other reviews in the comments, I appreciate you all.(:**

** Song Suggestion: Angels on the Moon, by Thriving Ivory**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or its characters, they all belong to Veronica Roth.**

_"Don't tell me if I'm dying  
'Cause I don't wanna know  
If I can't see the sun  
Maybe I should go  
Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming  
Of angels on the moon  
Where everyone you know  
Never leaves too soon."_

_x- Thriving Ivory_

* * *

I stiffen at the sensation of her fingers intertwining in my hair, and her other hand running over the course of my back through my leather jacket. I feel ridiculous as soon as I do, forcing the tension in my body to evaporate. This is the woman I love, the only person I have ever let touch me in this fashion, the only one whose contact I **feign** for, there should be no hesitations. I can't fool myself, I know exactly why my body is reacting this way. I keep feeling as if she is only an illusion, I mean, how could it not be?

I pull my head back from her neck to look into her eyes. I search for any single indication that this is a dream, a simulation, anything, but I find none. Her eyes are as deep as I remember them to be, her soul shining bright behind them. Her hands move to my waist, as if she is trying to ensure that I don't move. I smirk at the thought this, there is no possible way she could ever imagine that I would want to be away from her again.

I stare at her for the longest time, and she stares back at me, piercing every emotion I have. I have finally found my voice, but finding the words to utilize is much harder than I realize.

_"Why?"_

Is all I can manage to release, and my pitch breaks already.

_"I have waited for you, for what feels like a lifetime. I watched you, every single day, and I have never suffered more."_

Her honesty causes my insides to become entangled, I was still causing her pain.

I'm sure she sees it on my face, because her hands are on the back of my neck, pressing my forehead to hers before I can speak.

_"Don't you dare Tobias. It was my own fault. I caused you pain you should never have had to experience. I caused all of the things that brought me suffrage. I should never have left you without saying goodbye. I could not let Caleb die for me, not when I had a chance to still succeed. You told me that my parents sacrificed themselves because they loved me above all else, and that is exactly why I done the same. I loved you, Tobias, above everything, but I still loved Caleb as well. I could not let my own brother sacrifice his life out of guilt just so I could exist with you. It was incredibly selfish I realize…." _

The laugh that escapes me cuts her off before she can finish her sentence.

"_Selfish?" _I laugh at the absurdness of her confession.

_"You cannot really believe that, Tris. I have never rendered you as selfish! You, you are the most selfless and brave person I have ever met. I know why you made your choice, I just…" _my voice cracks_ "I couldn't find the strength you always had, that you always gave me. I couldn't move past us, past you. I didn't desire anything else in this entire world." _

I feel as if I am helpless to the emotions raging throughout my entire being, but I do not want to break again. Tris senses my unease and before I can say another word, her lips are pressed against mine.

Electricity flows through every cell in my body, and it as if a fire has been lit in the pit of my stomach. My hands clasp around her waist, and force her even closer to me (if that was possible). I can feel her fingers move slowly from the back of my neck into my hair that I've let carelessly grow for months. The intensity only multiplies as her tongue pries a route between my lips and finds my own. I feel the heat rising through my veins, and she wraps her right leg around my waist, pressing her thigh tightly against my jacket. I feel as if I'm soaring, without a single care. If this is an illusion, then so be it, I never want it to end. If it is a dream, I never want to wake from it. If this is death, I have never witnessed anything closer to perfection.

It is Tris who eventually pulls our bodies apart, even though every fiber of my being is craving more of her. I just want to devour her with affection. I want our souls to intertwine like they did only once before. I simply want her in every sense of the word, but she must have a reason for retreating. She offers me a smile after noticing my pure bewilderment.

I realize that there is something I have been holding back, because I was more terrified of the answer than anything.

_"How?"_

_"Ah. I knew you would ask eventually." _She replies. "_It was all you Tobias, you brought me here_." She pauses as if she is trying to find words.

_"I suppose you brought yourself here, would be the correct terms." _

She ends the explanation there, giving me another breathtaking smile, and I almost forget what I was even wanting to know.

_"Come with me, I feel as if showing you would be easier." _

She grabs my hand, pulling me up from the net beside her. The aches that filled my muscles and joints have disappeared completely allowing me to move without hesitation. She ushers her other hand toward the end of the net, offering me the chance to go first. I smile at the opportunity to relieve our first encounter one more time. I slide to the ground, my boots echoing against the dust covered wood of the Dauntless entrance platform. I turn to look at her again, sucking in a deep breath in case she happened to be gone.

She remained in the net, staring down at me with her eyes gleaming. She was no longer in Abnegation grey, but she was still as gorgeous as the moment she entered this place. I had not even noticed the clothes she wore until now. She was still in Dauntless black, but the silk fabric that complimented her body was a dress that formed against her perfectly. I smiled, bigger than I can remember being possible, as I pulled the net slightly and she came straight into my grasp. I gripped her beneath her arms, more than ecstatic to feel the pressure of her weight against my hands, and lifted her to the ground in front of me. She looked up at me for only a second before lightly pressing her lips to mine once more. Even though the energy inside me ignited, I knew I could only return it for a moment.

As I predicted, she pulled back slowly and took my hand in mine again. I didn't know what to expect. My thoughts are such a tangled web I cannot even think straight, but I follow her aimlessly (as I would until the end of the world). She leads me down the steps of the entrance, following along the winding paths that lack railing and are dimly lit by the blue lanterns. I don't have to think while following close behind her, fingers still intertwined, for I could walk this path in my sleep. She is leading me to the Pit.

Tris looks over her shoulder at me, and smiles as we continue a little further toward the dining hall. I have no idea what she has in mind, but I don't question her intentions.

I squint as the lighting in the dining hall seems brighter than it ever has before, and I am astonished when my vision starts to focus and I find us in a room full of people. I can only look at Tris, hoping she has an explanation since I am on a new level of confusion, but she only looks forward. I follow her eyes to find a figure sprinting toward the both of us. His tall frame was all I could see at first, but I noticed his white smile that seemed almost too bright against his bronze skin, and as he came closer into view his deep brown eyes were as carefree as they ever were.

I felt something inside my chest drop, as if my heart became unhinged at his presence. I couldn't speak even as he wrapped his lean arms around my back, enclosing me in a (slightly too tight) hug. The tears I let go of just hours ago find themselves spilling over from guilt as I close my eyes once more.

"_Uriah?"_ was the only word I could verbalize.


	4. Chapter 4: Decisions

**A/N: I apologize for not being able to update as soon as I wanted, I had to get all of my books &nd such ready for next week - last year of homeschooling, yay ! [lol]**

**Again thank you for all of your responses. From reviews (thank you mcblue12!), PMs, favorites/follows, and readers - I'm honored!This chapter was somewhat difficult for me to write, so forgive me if it seems a little complicated at times, but it will answer a lot of questions!**

**Song Suggestion: Halo, by Beyoncé**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or its characters, they all belong to Veronica Roth.**

_"Hit me like a ray of sun  
Burning through my darkest night  
You're the only one that I want  
Think I'm addicted to your light"_

_x-Beyoncé_

* * *

I say his name only one more time while wrapping my arms around him to return his hug.

_"You're…crushing me…Four!" He fights between breaths._

I had no idea I was holding onto him so tight and let go immediately and begin rubbing the back of my neck nervously. He takes a step back clutching his waist as if I damaged him.

_"Man, you were never one for affection. I honestly would have expected to get punched before I seen that coming."_

His laugh is as genuine as the very first time I heard it. I drift momentarily as I remember that it was not long after initiation was over, and Zeke introduced me to his family.

I feel the guilt beginning to circulate through my mind again. I'm part of the reason they can no longer enjoy his company, even all of his ridiculous antics. I feel Tris' hand through my jacket as she rubs between my shoulder blades. It's as if she could sense the struggle I was having with this reunion. With this entire place.

I watched Uriah's mouth move as he continued talking, but it's like I went deaf because I cannot hear any of it. I have so many things I want to say to him yet finding the right phrase is becoming harder every time I'm forced to speak.

_"Uriah I'm __**so**__ sorry. I know I can't take back what I done, and I know I don't deserve it but I hope more than anything, that you can forgive me." _

The words escape my mouth before I can stop myself and I'm left searching his now emotionless face for a reply.

He takes a deep breath before releasing a simple: _No._

I feel my entire body become heavy, and my heart sinks even lower than before. I'm just about to plead my case with him when he throws his head back, howling a fit laughter that echoes throughout the dining hall.

_"I'm sorry..." _he begins between the fits._" I couldn't pass up the opportunity, you should have seen your face, man! Of course I forgive you, hell I never even blamed you. None of us can say what we would have done if faced with the same decision, and besides it was Nita's bomb, not yours."_

I open my mouth to speak but suddenly an object is propelled across the room, hitting Uriah directly in the back of the head. We look down out of curiosity, at the muffin that now lies next to Uriah's boot, and search the many faces that fill the hall. It's immensely obvious when I spot Lynn leaning against a laughing Marlene for support from her own giggling, holding her sides failing to suppress her guilty expression. Uriah must have followed my gaze because it is not a moment later that he turns on his heel to pursue his "attackers". I catch Marlene wave to me as Lynn quickly tugs her along by her arm through the tables in attempt to escape Uriah's revenge, but he takes the time to shout his goodbyes (_"I'll see you later Tris, you too Four!" _) before they turn a corner leaving our view.

The weight I was feeling seemed to diminish without me noticing, because my elation has found its way back, flooding my entire body. I release the breath I had not even realized I was holding letting out a laugh of my own. I remember seeing the three of them together every single day at Dauntless, but I never had an idea of how much I had missed their presence until now. The peace they seemed to gain here ignited something inside me that I have not seen a glimpse of in months - hope.

I turn to Tris who is beaming up at me: _I have one more thing I want to show you before we discuss all of this. _

Her words bring a small amount of fear into my heart, for I don't know how many more surprised I can handle in one day.

I return her smile though, and hold my arms out to my side: _I'm all yours._

She bites her lower lip at my statement. This sends a terribly missed sensation throughout my body. I attempt to suppress it as she unties the silk sash from the waist line of her dress. I have to admit she makes it awful hard to keep my composure. I let a smirk creep onto my lips when she brings the sash to cover my eyes, and ties it loosely on the back of my head. I didn't even consider my claustrophobia when being blindfolded, but it brings back the all too familiar sense of the tiny upstairs closet in my father's old home. My muscles become tense and suddenly my heart is racing.

"_Trust me_." Tris whispers in my ear, close enough for me to feel her breath against my skin.

The result is instantaneous. I can feel myself becoming calm again. Tris wraps her fingers in my own, and leads me through a maze of twists, turns, steps, and inclines (all in silence) before she finally halts unexpectedly front of me causing me to bump into her slightly.

She laughs at this, forcing me to do the same. I can faintly hear the turning of a knob followed by a familiar creek of a door before she gently pulls the sides of my jacket leading me with her. She wraps her hands around my neck, pushing me closer to her and I feel her soft lips against mine. I almost fail at trying not to press too hard into her while her fingers make their way through my hair and tug the fabric loose from my face.

I am greeted with a bright light causing me to blink a few times before I can take in our surroundings. The words "**Fear God Alone**" are the first things I register, which makes me realize we are standing in my old apartment. As I examine further I notice it isn't how I left it. There are dishes on the counter beside to the sink, coffee in the pot next to the refrigerator, books scattered across the kitchen table, and my bed is messy as if someone had been sleeping in it. I look at Tris as she is chewing the inside of her cheek, _waiting_ for my response.

"_You've been living here_?" I can hear the astonishment in my own voice as I reach the revelation.

She smiled widely and simply nods her head.

_"But, why?"_

My question is guided by pure confusion, but she doesn't seem to mind giving me the answer.

_"It was the place I felt closest to you when I couldn't be near you. I was fascinated by being in the same room that you spent all of your time in. Your covers and pillows still smell just like you, it's actually pretty intoxicating at times. I've even borrowed a few shirts from time to time..."_ she trails off with a small laugh before she becomes quiet. _"You don't mind, do you?" _

I caught the hint of reservation in her voice, and she begins chewing on her cheek again. I cannot fathom the right words to tell her how honored I am that she had been doing this, it felt as if she were choosing to love **me **even after life and my soul was overflowing with admiration for her.

I decide that words are not my best asset at the time, but instead I close the gap between us in a single stride and rest my forehead against hers. She closes her eyes gently when I bring my left hand to her face, caressing her cheek with my thumb and placing the remaining fingers behind her ear. I can feel her leaning into me and I take a moment to simply observe her beauty in the silence.

_"I have missed this so much."_ She breathes.

_"I can't even describe how much I've missed it more."_

I smile, not being able to contain the happiness I feel even over all the confusion that this place brings. I'm not sure I care about logic anymore. I'm not sure I even want to ask the remaining questions. The only thing I'm sure of is that I never want this to fade away. She pulls back slightly to look into my eyes.

"_As much as I'd love to stay like this forever, we have to talk about this Tobias." _ Her voice almost sounds grim, but I chose to brush it off, blaming it on my imagination.

She takes her hand in mine and leads me to my (or **her**) bed before sitting down, patting the space beside her for me to sit. I gladly oblige, and simply stare at her as she tries to find the right things to say. She opens her mouth to speak, but a knock at the door interrupts it.

"_Come in_." She sighs.

A young boy dressed in classic Candor fashion (a white shirt and black slacks) stands in the doorway.

_"Your parents are back, Tris. You wanted me to inform you when they returned, so here I am_!" He says excitedly.

She laughs at the boy before she thanks him. "_I appreciate your swift action James__, but I can't visit them at the moment. If you could relay that information to them I would be very grateful."_

He smiles at her. I think he's going to just shut the door and do what she asked, but first he rushes to her and wraps his arms around her. She encloses him in a warm embrace, kissing his hair, and my heart swells watching them. She would have been a wonderful mother. I slightly choke on the thoughts as they process.

"_I'll see you soon kid_." She says.

He simply nods before releasing her and running out the door, closing it behind him.

_"Wait. Your parents are here_?" I feel almost embarrassed from asking so quickly.

She continues to look at the ground for a moment then looks at me with a grin._ "That's what I'm trying to explain to you Tobias. We're all here. My parents, Uriah, Lynn, Marlene, Tori, and countless more_." She pauses. _"Even Al...and Will."_

I search her eyes for the hundredth time since seeing her only hours ago, trying to comprehend what she is telling me.

_"We never really left, well not exactly. We just existed differently. That's what I meant when I said I've watched the punishments you've put yourself through. I was there, every day by your side. You just couldn't see me as I could you. I tried so hard to communicate with you. I wanted to comfort you. I wanted to tell you all the things I couldn't before. I wanted to take back ever leaving you without an explanation, but I quickly realized it was impossible."_

_"I didn't understand it all at first, and had a horrible time trying to grasp it when my mother explained it to me at the bureau. It turns out that my parents were with us the entire time as well."_ She smiles at me before continuing.

"_They told me they spent most of their time with Caleb, hoping that they could miraculously guide him from the self-destructive path he had put himself on. When they witnessed me forcing him to stand down from the mission they matched me step for step as I confronted David."_

I can hear her voice crack and immediately pull her into an embrace, wrapping my arms securely around her waist. She let soft sobs pour while she rested her arms around my neck and buried her face into my shirt. I took the time to comfort her, rubbing her hair softly and simply letting her release the emotions she's clearly hidden for far too long. I also utilize the silence to run all the information through my mind gain.

_I am here._

_ I am with the love of my life again._

_All of our friends we lost during, and before, the war are here as well._

_This is a place you can only visit once your gone. _

_So, I must be as well. _

I inhale deeply, and try to accept that fact.

_This is what you wanted. _

_You accomplished your goal and was rewarded instead of punished. _

_There is no going back now. _

_Why would I want to?_

I hadn't noticed how I was staring blankly at the wall, lost in thought, until Tris attempts to stifle her whimpers, sniffling a few times as she wipes her cheeks.

"_Do I look like I've been crying_?" She laughs through the remaining tears.

I let a smirk play across my lips at the memory she must be playing at and answer the same as before: _No Tris, you look tough as nails. _

She laughs lightly and sniffles once more. She meets the gaze I've held on her and I see what looks like dread in her eyes.

"_Tobias we don't have much time, I am sorry for wasting so much of it with trivial things_." She says apologetically.

I'm taken back by her statement.

_What does she mean not much time? _

_I thought I could stay with her forever, why has it changed? _

_"Why?"_ I don't even try to mask the desperation in my voice this time.

She lets out a simple sigh before she hesitantly answers.

"_You have a decision to make Tobias, and it has to be made soon."_


	5. Chapter 5:Bravery

**A/N: First off, thank you to all of you guys. You are all seriously amazing ! I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update, home school is horrid already. [lol] This is my last official chapter, then the epilogue!  
**

**To my reviewers (mcblue12, Sourluck, dat-cray-crayfangirl,postrockernet, and 4&6): You guys are my favorite. (jk. I value all of you guys equally of course!) [lol] Seriously though, thank you tons for the major confident boost that I needed!**

**datcray-crayfangirl** [lol] That is totally okay, now that I've posted this chapter I can explain it for you.

Four/Tobias couldn't stand living life without Tris so he decided to inject himself with the death serum (which he found in the basement of Erudite by chance). Soon after he injected himself he "died" which took him to what is my version of their afterlife (in which those who have died continue to exist around the living, but the living are oblivious to them). There he has the chance to see Tris again, who leads him to Uriah (while getting a glimpse of Lynn and Marlene) so he (Tobias) could get closure for his mistake at the Bureau. After dying, Tris' parents helped her adjust into life after death, where she decided to stay at Dauntless (in Tobias' old apartment). She wanted to comfort Tobias in his struggle, but failed due to the boundaries of death. Tobias is trying to force all doubts about this place out of his mind because all he cares about is that they're all there and he feels as if it is a second chance. When Tris tells him he needs to make a decision he is completely taken off guard. The next chapter will pick up telling him what his options are, and what he finally chooses!

I hope that clears it up for you, and thank you so much for sticking around even though you didn't quiet comprehend what was going on!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights to characters go to Veronica Roth.**

**Song Suggestion: A Thousand Years, by Christina Perri  
**

"Heart beats fast  
Colors and promises  
How to be brave?  
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?  
But watching you stand alone,  
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow."

x- Christina Perri

* * *

My mind replays her words repeatedly, and my ears ring as if her voice was amplified when she spoke. I cannot conjure any saliva in my mouth and my throat beings to constrict.

"_You have a decision to make, and it has to be made soon." _

_Why is it that there is always a choice to be made? _

_Why is there always a catch when we find happiness?_

_Why does it feel like, even in death, I'm being stripped of everything I have left?_

My breathing becomes hesitant and my muscles tense all over again.

"_What do you mean?"_ I try to keep my voice as steady as possible when I ask.

"_Tobias, you know that I love you, unconditionally and unwavering. I want to spend the rest of eternity by your side, but I can't be so selfish, not now."_

She opens her mouth to continue, but my laughter cuts her short.

"_There's a catch…of course there is. You honestly want me to consider you'd be selfish by wanting me to stay_?!"

I shake my head at how absurd it sounds.

"_I want to be with you, here, hell anywhere for that matter. I'd follow you until the end of time if you'd like. I love you_!"

I didn't notice that my voice had raised an entire octave until I heard it echo in the room. I am instantly ashamed of myself for acting this way in front of Tris, but she is still smiling at me as if she completely understands.

"_I know. I also know how important to this world you can become. You change the lives of everyone you meet Tobias, I've witnessed it firsthand. It wasn't always my presence like you may have believed, you have an amazing effect on people and it's time you seen it for yourself. Our world needs mending after everything we changed. Johanna has made wonderful progress so far, but it's been that way with you by her side. Yes, our city is better than it was when Factions determined the fate of its inhabitants, but there is still so much that can be accomplished. There are still children who have been rendered orphans because of the war. There are people beginning to lose the battle to recover from their losses. There is still so much hate in the hearts of those who don't understand why such horrible things happen to us. You can help them Tobias." _

She speaks with such conviction in her voice that I want more than anything to believe her, but how can I?

I am only a coward who fled to Dauntless because I was too weak to stand up to my oppressive father. I am the naïve soldier who couldn't tell that my own deceiving mother was playing me on her conquest for revenge. I am the selfish man who became so insecure of my own abilities that I damaged all of my friendships. I am the weak boyfriend who could not save the life of the one I loved most. How could I ever accomplish the things Tris proposes?

"_I know you're doubting yourself right now, I can see the war you're fighting Tobias and you are wrong."_

It's as if she can see right through me as I sit in silence next to her. She can pierce a hole straight to my soul, seeing all of my transgressions and weaknesses, yet she still believes in me. She puts her hand on my face, wrapping her fingers around my chin, she forces me to look into her stormy eyes.

"_You are brave, selfless, intelligent, honest, and kind. You have the ability to save so many lives, you just have to believe in yourself. I put every ounce of my faith in you, and I know that you will never disappoint me."_

Her words are like a drug being injected into my veins causing me to overflow with joy. I can feel the temperature in my cheeks rise and my heart swells with pride for her.

"_I still don't understand how you want me to do these things, or what decision I have to make." I whisper._

She takes my hand in hers and squeezes slightly: That's another thing I'd like to show you instead.

I offer her a smile and she returns to her feet, pulling me up with her. She leads me out the door of my old apartment and begin to descend to our destination. I don't want to have another silent trip between us, so I decide that now is a better time than never to ask a few questions that are burning in the back of my mind.

"_So, is everyone required to stay inside the city, or inside of the old factions?"_

She moves her hand from inside mine and wraps it around my forearm as we walk side by side.

"_No. Our worlds coexist remember, there are no boundaries as far as explorations are concerned." _

I notice that we take a right down the hallway that passes the back entrance to the training facilities and another question slithers into my subconscious causing bile to rise in my mouth.

"_If this is where we come when we…uh…die…I'm assuming that Eric, along with other enemies we've made, are here as well." _I can't suppress the cringe that comes with his name.

"_It is an odd phenomenon really. Those of us who crossed over with transgressions that formed from completely malicious intentions seem absent from the rest of us. Of course I don't have an answer to where they are, maybe we just never crossed paths, but I do know that our irrational sides and harsh emotions don't exist here. I have never witnessed any detrimental actions or anything in comparison."_ The admiration is evident as she speaks, and I find myself becoming more reassured by this place.

I've been so distracted by her voice and following her movements so closely, that I hadn't even noticed that we had crossed the chasm and were working our way through the small crowd in the Pit.

"_Why are there so many people here?"_

"_Well, when I first decided to stay in your apartment there were only a handful of people here Uriah, Lynn, and Marlene included. They decided to stay here the same reason I did, it reminded them of their families when they couldn't bear to be near them without being able to contact them. They also relied on each other of course, they are so happy here."_ She lets a smile trace onto her lips before continuing. _"My parents come back and forth between myself and Caleb a lot. Tori was here when I first arrived, but she visits George often now that she knows he's alive. I reconciled with Al just shortly after arriving here. He used to stay close to Will whenever he wasn't visiting Christina or his family, but since then he decided to leave and explore beyond the fence. I spend most of my time gathering those who seem to be lost on this side, trying to give them a comfortable place to fit in. A lot of people still have a hard time grasping the afterlife, so we try to educate as many as possible in our spare time. These are just a few of the people we've integrated since our departure from our other lives. It only seems right to attempt to help them."_

I can't help but adore her selfless nature even more in this life than the last.

"_You're doing wonderful things here, Tris."_

She can't disguise the blush that engulfs her as we move passed the crowd and continue back on the path we just traveled down when I first arrived.

"_Thank you, we try our hardest. I honestly never imagined seeing you so soon though. I mean, of course I love being with you, but I feel utterly shattered that it was because of me."_

Her confession strikes me like a bullet to the brain and my feet stop in their tracks, pulling Tris to a stop as well.

"_I never thought you would blame yourself."_ My voice is stained with guilt when it finally escapes me.

"_Tobias you said it yourself…"_

"_It is much deeper than you realize! My father ripped every ounce of happiness from my childhood. I thought I gained freedom by going to Dauntless but when my supposedly dead mother revealed their intentions for the Divergents to me, I felt trapped and planned on running from it all. It took you emerging from that net to save me. I knew from the moment our eyes met that you were different. I had never felt so strongly about anyone and I never expected it. I loved you from that night on the fairs wheel and I was terrified. Terrified that the happiness and love you provided me with would be ripped away in an instant and there would be nothing I could do to stop it. When it all became a reality…I…I broke!"_

I was almost shouting by the time I realized who I was talking to and forced my urgency to subside. My breathing remains heavy and I can't seem to unclench my jaws in fear that my emotions will get the better of me again.

"_Tobias, I'm…"_

I couldn't stop myself from bringing her hands a little too tightly in mine when our eyes met.

"_No Tris, this is not your fault. You made a decision and it was the right one, no matter how it affected the rest of us. This is my decision and it was never your fault. It was much bigger than just losing you, it just happened to be my tipping point."_

She smiles despite the water threatening to cloud her vision.

"_I'm sorry I said it that way Tobias, I never meant to place blame on you for anything I was feeling. I just…I didn't want to be the reason you ventured down this road."_

"_You're not Tris. I just wanted relief from the pain and I found it._"

I search her face for objections before I gently match my lips to hers. The spark is immediate. I feel as if my entire body is humming with electricity, as it does every time our lips meet and the passion between us is undeniable. I feel my grip loosening from her hands and find familiarity at her waist. Her body reacts by pressing further into my own. I forget our surroundings until she pulls us apart, pressing her forehead to my own.

"_I hate to do this so often, but I need to show you now." _

It turns out we ended up right below the wooden platform in the initiate entrance.

"_What are we doing here?"_

Her lips stretch into a faint smile as she looks up toward the net and curiosity forces me to follow her gaze. A small amount of shock washes over me and I can do nothing more than look at her for another explanation.

"_That's the decision I was talking about. You have to decide on whether you want to remain here or if you want to return to our old world to accomplish the things I mentioned earlier."_

I take a step onto the platform and witness my own body lying motionless in the net. My chest is faintly heaving but it seems to be labored.

"_I don't understand. I injected myself with the Death Serum, how am I breathing? How am I here if I'm still alive?!" _

"_The Death Serum can be overpowered Tobias, if someone has the will to do so. A part of you is still holding on. I know you think this is what you want, but I know a part of you, maybe one you don't even know exists anymore, wants to help heal the world more than you want to submit to death. You are here because the ledge your life is teetering on is very blurred at the moment. When I said the decision had to be made soon, I meant before the small string you're holding on by breaks and this becomes permanent."_

"_But the bureau said…"_

"_The bureau was wrong! Their entire belief in genetically damaged and pure people is ridiculous. They created that world, but we were real people Tobias, not experiments. We made our decisions off of who we were, not what we were supposed to be. Some people just conformed to the ideas they were submitted to. The ones they claimed Divergent are the ones who refused to follow just one train of thought. If being called Divergent is what you need to hear Tobias, then you are. You have always had your own mind, you just lacked the self-confidence to believe it. The people at the bureau were threatened by you because of the presence you demanded. They knew you were a born leader, so they had to tell you things that would break you down to the point that you would lose your most coveted attribute...your strength"_

I swallow hard at all the information she is feeding me, at the memory of my incredible display of weakness while at the bureau.

"_It worked_." I breathed_._

"_You don't have to let it continue working though. Decide to wake up Tobias, chose to change more lives than you could have ever imagined just a day ago, live a life that you will be proud of and I will still be here when it all ends how it should."_

I can only blink from her to my own form just feet away from me.

_Could I really become something so heroic? Could I really match the bravery and strength Tris radiated every day of her life?_

_She believes in me that alone should be enough._

_She is the one thing I loved in my entire life, why would I not follow anything she asked of me?_

"_I don't want you to be confined to this place because you told me you would wait." _I fight through the pressure in my throat.

"_I would never leave your side unless you asked me to." _She smiles.

"_That is unimaginable_." I reply, matching her grin_._

_"Then I shall never leave you."  
_

She brings her hand to my face and strokes my cheek with her thumb: _You can do this. Anytime you need me remember that I will always be there to listen even if I can't respond. _

It's as if new air has been breathed into my lungs and I feel something odd rising through my entire being. It's a cooling sensation, more flexible than pride, but I can't quite find the words to describe the familiar intoxication. Confidence maybe? In myself…it's such an odd thing to feel again. My heart could burst with the love I feel for Tris at this moment and I decide that she is the only persuasion I need to make my choice.

Without warning I crash my lips into hers hard, praying that I will never forget the way this feels. She knows my answer now, I can see it in her eyes when we finally pull apart.

I put my hands on the net and hoist my weight to the edge. I turn to sit down, extending my hand for Tris to follow. Of course she obliges and I pull her into me as we fall back together, laughing, into the holding. I don't let go of her waist and press my lips to hers just once more. When we pull apart I search her face for reservations but only find a stray hair in front of her eyes instead. As I move my hand to place it behind her ear I feel weight beginning to return to my bones, and she brings her hand to mine, intertwining our fingers. I close my eyes for an instant, trying to savor every aspect of this moment.

She leans in close to my ear before whispering: _Be brave._


	6. Epilouge

**A/N: I would first like to thank every single one of you (reviews,reads,pms) for the support of this story, it means so much to me! I would also like to apologize for not finishing it as quickly as I had wanted, school has been horrendous so far. [lol] **

**"datcray-crayfangirl" – I'm sorry you didn't understand it all, but thank you &nd I'm so glad you stuck around to finish it ! Btw, Tobias decided to fight his way through the Death Serum and follow Tris' advice.(:**

**"postrockernet" Thank you so very much, I'm glad you liked it !**

**"Guest1" – Thank you so much for your review!**

**"Sabsi13" - Thank you very much, your support means a lot to me!**

**"Guest2" I am sorry I had to make it so short, but I felt that if I dragged it out to far it would be a cliché. [lol] Yes, I have actually been working on another that I hope to have posted later this week! Thank you for your support!**

**Suggestion: Follow You into the Dark, by Death Cab for Cutie**

"If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the "No"'s on their vacancy signs  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark"

x- Death Cab for Cutie

* * *

**Epilogue as told by Tris**

I can still remember Tobias opening his eyes that fateful day as he lay in the Dauntless net. I was bursting with pride that he made the decision that I suggested to him so gracefully. Even though I could see the fear of uncertainty gleaming in his eyes, he chose to be brave in the end. It's been so long since then, but I've kept my promise to stay close by.

I watched him emerge from Dauntless a reformed man. His actions reflected it clearly over the next few weeks. The new-found confidence radiated from him demanding a presence wherever he went. First, he brought Johanna's attention to the orphan population left in the city, and proposed ways to raise public awareness about the situation. This eventually expanded into fully functioning "adoption agencies" within the city, providing those orphans with food, clothing, and shelter while valiantly searching for suitable parents for them. Tobias made sure to set regulations in the agencies, such as home visits to adoptive parents every so often to ensure that no child was being abused or neglected, as well as everyone in the home being provided with proper care and nutrition (which was responsibility as the community as a whole).

While the adoption agencies were in the works, Tobias reconciled with Caleb (a very emotional event I might say). He proposed ideas to Caleb that would help people who sustained serious injuries in the war to be able to adjust to life easier. Erudite already had prototypes of prosthesis still intact in their labs, so Caleb and other scientists and doctors worked relentlessly to polish them into fully functional robotic limbs. Of course there was much trial and error over the course of a year before they were ready. Shauna had received the first pair, a personal request from Tobias, to attempt to raise Zeke's spirit. I made it a point to witness that moment, it was the same day Tobias decided it was time to spread my ashes, to zip-line from the top of the Hancock building. I had no idea as to what he was doing, but I watched him through my tears of pride, beaming all the way.

Soon after the prosthesis's success, the adoption agencies were established and flourishing. There were still handfuls of children without homes, but Tobias kept their spirits high as often as he could. It was also his idea to have the children be a part of the regular school system so they could have more social interactions with children their age. The education had to be completely reformed, but it was only a matter of months before it was up and running with a lot of help from former Erudite and Abnegation members. Ex-Candor members helped establish a majority of the legal system, a move that flourished with their "lie-detector" and honest abilities, not to mention their eagerness to teach them to others. Tobias wasn't responsible for all of this, but he had a part in each of them non-the-less.

I could go for days explaining how wonderful it was to witness his advancements in society, but the moment I've been waiting on for so long, has finally arrived. It's been fifteen years since I saw Tobias, and yet he has spoken to me every day to remind me of my promise to him, my promise to wait. There were so many days I wish he would move on with his life, to be loved by another the way he deserved so much, but I know he couldn't even imagine it. In the mean-time Zeke and Shauna were married (and eventually adopted a child themselves), Caleb and Cara developed a relationship after working together in the Department of Agriculture (Will was absolutely ecstatic his sister finally found love), and Christina poured herself into any work that became available to her. Tobias and Christiana's friendship is something I grew to adore. They fought more often than not, but they trusted each other above all else. She listened to Tobias' stories about seeing me and Will, and she accepted it without an ounce of hesitation. Will suspects that is was because she needed something to hold on to, something to look forward to when it was all over, something to make the losses of war seem worth it.

It was Christina who tried to talk Tobias out of going to work today, because she had a feeling something was off. I'm sure she had no idea that a fire was going to break out in the building he was working in at the time, and I'm sure she didn't know that he would give his very last breath trying to get everyone else evacuated. I wish I could have matched his confidence as he frantically attempted to save everyone, but himself. My inaudible begging for him to get out before it was too late didn't reach him once. My pleas for those searching the building to find him could not breach the barriers between our worlds, not that it would matter since it was already too late.

As I said, I've waited for this moment for so long, but I never imagined that it would happen like this. I never imagined the torment I would feel watching Tobias grow weaker under the weight of the people he had drug from the clutches of flames and smoke. I never imagined how he would leave the world at all, but I have a theory that I still would not have been prepared. I sit here now, watching the flames around us engulf everything in its path, still holding onto Tobias' hand as his chest stops heaving. I cannot contain the tears that are now flowing from my eyes like a river bursting over a dam, and the sobs consume me as they please.

"_What if this isn't how it works? What if he doesn't…."_

I cannot compose myself until I feel the pressure against my fingers, intertwining them with his own. I force my eyes open, not sure of when I even closed them. It is his eyes I see first, bright as the day I first seen him in Dauntless. The wave of electricity flows freely through my entire body as he speaks: _I can't believe you're here._

I slightly laugh as this, while trying to help him into a standing position.

"_I promised that I would be."_

"_Yes, but I was so terrified it had all been a dream."_ He admits with a grin.

I don't control my movements as my arms wrap around his neck and I pull him into the first embrace we've shared in far too long. I stiffen as Tobias' arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer than I knew he could, and the tension immediately evaporates.

"_We never have to leave each other again?"_

The question is short, but almost breathless, as if he can't believe it himself.

"_Never."_ I confirm.

We pull apart for only a moment to search each others eyes for any indication that this could be our imaginations, but no a trace is found.

"_What do we do now_?" He asks sheepishly.

"_Anything you want. We can travel to the ends of the Earth if you please_."

"_I think that would be a wonderful way to spend eternity, as long as I'm with you."_

His answer makes me feel as if my soul is surging, sending chills up my spine, as well as heat rushing through my cheeks, and I repeat the words of one of my fondest memories.

"_You know, I might be in love with you, but I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though."_

He slightly throws his head back laughing, and I can't resist doing so myself. We enjoy the simple gesture a moment before we return to our former position.

"_That's sensible of you_." He whispers.

I feel his laughter against my side once more, his nose sliding along my jaw, his lips pressing my ear: _I love you, Tris._

I suck my breath in slightly at the sensation of his breath against my skin after so long. Even with walls crashing down around us, with the world oblivious to the sacrifice Tobias made for others to survive, ignoring the pain his friends will experience afterward, we will emerge from these ashes together, and I am happier than I could have ever dreamed. It takes me just a moment to regain my senses before replying.

"_I love you too, Tobias. Eternally."_


End file.
